Annoying Neighbors : I : Jesus, is that you?

Common sense, common courtesy & common decency, all these things are dying a twitching, hideous death. Oh how I long for the days of the village idiot; there was only one and the whole town was in agreement that this person was an outright jackass. Perhaps I live in an Idiot Village and I'm just unaware?

In any event, my neighbors are driving me mad. To the left, to the right and above me are people I wish to grab by the hair and toss into the nearest window. I've been driven mad by the yelling of their clearly undisciplined children (I say "clearly" because I fail to understand how a mother casually chats on her cell phone as her children scream into my open window & bang on it... hello, Parenting, where the fuck have you gone?), I've had empty cigarette packs & beer cans land at my feet (and nearly on my damn head) from the balcony above and I've been awakened by constant yelling outside my window which I later found out was only my neighbor yammering on her cell phone and not a riot readying to ensue. None of this however, even holds a candle to the apparent second coming of Jesus.

Other than this blog, I maintain a personal blog & several offline writing projects. These, among many other things, usually keep my brain and I burning the midnight oil into the wee hours of the early morning; and that of course leads to sleeping in late. One morning around 10 a.m. I was still very deep in sleep when suddenly I was surrounded by a blasting sound. I thought I was having a nightmare and was soon startled from my sleep, however the noise did not stop! I jerked my still heavy with sleep head left, right, up and down but there was nothing but noise, as if I had been tossed into a mosh pit in the middle of the morning. I was stunned, confused and outraged, unable to comprehend what was going on in this place. Soon my ears were tuning in to the pounding sound of what seemed to be Gospel music, a woman singing/screaming into a microphone, people yelling, laughing and clapping and a man, also with a microphone, delivering orders on praising something or another. Mind you I have no clue what was really going on but HOLY FUCKING SHIT was my head about to POP.

Who knew that all this time Jesus was hiding in my neighbors closet and that they were the chosen people?? I mean he must have risen again because there is really no excuse for such blatent disregard for the people living around you! Alas, I can do it no true justice because you just had to experience this yourself to believe the insanity and as my (bad) luck would have it, my roommate was out and I have zero witnesses. Of course, as we well know, if I had run over there half naked, hair a mess, crust in my eyes, shouting and pounding on their door not only would they not have understood me as they don't even speak English (making it impossible to even try to talk to my neighbors about their disturbing behavior) but I would have, once again, been the ASSHOLE.