Annoying Neighbors : II : My Vow To You

So, I happen to live in an apartment complex where the buildings are sectioned into groups of four, all facing eachother to create a box-like structure, allowing outside noise to come into our lives at a minimum but also serving to exacerbate all the noise created by the tenants. All day long I get to enjoy things like people refusing to turn down their stereos when they pull in to our complex, children screaming outside my window because apparently the 50 foot walk to the playground is too far and, as the position of the buildings creates a sort of Bermuda Triangle effect for cellular phones making them almost useless indoors, neighbors yelling into their cell phones all day long because as you well know, the louder you yell into your cell phone as the signal breaks up the better you will be heard! But, I digress; more petty bullshit, more annoying people, not a moments peace in this mother fucker. However, I have a special message for the raging asshat with the motorcycle:

Dear Cycling Fuckface,

I promise you, up and down and sideways, I fucking SWEAR AND VOW TO YOU that it is UNNECESSARY for you to announce to the entire complex that you are home by revving your goddamn, loud ass, annoying-as-all-friggin-hell bike engine. There is less than zero need for this constant annoyance. You are loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate and just plain RUDE. CEASE THE BULLSHIT.

Thank you,
Friendly Neighborhood Asshole.

Because you know, only an asshole would tell other people how to live their lives.