Surprise, Surprise

In case we weren't sure that COMCAST was a heartless bunch of corporate jerks, I was given proof today! I got to be the asshole today, once again. I've been paying for DVR service at my current address since January of this year. MAGICALLY My DVR stopped working. In lieu of calling them up and making them send some poor sap over with a new one, I packed up my equipment and shuffled my ass down to the local office to turn in my DVR box and get a new one. Sounds like something simple, right? However, nothing is simple anymore. (Not even using the bathroom at the local Big Lots store where I had an awesome time trying to take a shit while holding the door shut with my toes! But, I digress.)

After waiting in line with about twenty other frustrated Comcast customers to make it to one of the two people working, I finally reached a customer service representative. I then explained to her that the DVR box ceased working and I would like a new one. She pulled up my account and without so much as a word, disappears into the back room. I should have known then that nothing good was going to happen. Now, I don't believe in giving working people a hard time but I am LIVID pissed when she comes back to tell me that she "Can't just give away a DVR box to anyone" and that if I want another I will have to pay $20 a month extra. I wanted to make sure I was understanding what was going on so I asked, "I already have this service and your equipment has failed to do its job, I came here to turn in this box and now you're telling me you won't give me another unless I upgrade to a service I have no desire to have?" To which she answers, "Yes." I ask her if she believes this is fair and all she can do is say those are the rules. Yes... rules... of course.

So now Comcast has a new rule that says: All loyal customers are to be SHAFTED when trying to return a failing piece of equipment!

So now we can be certain that Comcast not only sucks my ass 5 ways, but that when they take over YOUR local cable company they will A: take away 100 channels, B: Give you shitty equipment, and C: Try to charge you extra money every month to restore the once free channels you don't even miss so you can get a new piece of equipment they are already charging you to rent.

3 cheers for Comcast... only not really.

Annoying Neighbors : II : My Vow To You

So, I happen to live in an apartment complex where the buildings are sectioned into groups of four, all facing eachother to create a box-like structure, allowing outside noise to come into our lives at a minimum but also serving to exacerbate all the noise created by the tenants. All day long I get to enjoy things like people refusing to turn down their stereos when they pull in to our complex, children screaming outside my window because apparently the 50 foot walk to the playground is too far and, as the position of the buildings creates a sort of Bermuda Triangle effect for cellular phones making them almost useless indoors, neighbors yelling into their cell phones all day long because as you well know, the louder you yell into your cell phone as the signal breaks up the better you will be heard! But, I digress; more petty bullshit, more annoying people, not a moments peace in this mother fucker. However, I have a special message for the raging asshat with the motorcycle:

Dear Cycling Fuckface,

I promise you, up and down and sideways, I fucking SWEAR AND VOW TO YOU that it is UNNECESSARY for you to announce to the entire complex that you are home by revving your goddamn, loud ass, annoying-as-all-friggin-hell bike engine. There is less than zero need for this constant annoyance. You are loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate and just plain RUDE. CEASE THE BULLSHIT.

Thank you,
Friendly Neighborhood Asshole.

Because you know, only an asshole would tell other people how to live their lives.