Stupid Pet Owners & Unsolicited Advice

Dear lady across the street,

Yes, I know my puppy is hyper. SHE'S A PUPPY. THEY HAVE ENERGY. Hence the fucking reason I'm outside walking her in the first place -- to drain her of energy! Yes, I know she jumps. She's not being aggressive -- she just loves people a little too much. Yes, we're training her out of it -- and as with everything, it takes time. Puppies aren't born with the manners required to live with humans -- they need to be taught. No, I'm not paying fucking Petsmart to train her, because she's my sixth dog and I think I know what I'm doing by now. Obviously, because in the two months we've had her, she's crate-trained, house-broken, knows her basic obedience commands, is usually pretty good on a leash, has a good idea of what to chew on and what's off-limits (impressive for a teething puppy), and is learning not to bark unnecessarily. Oh yeah, and she IS showing progress with not jumping on people. Of course, you're not helping matters by petting her when she jumps. If you're such a fucking expert in dog training, you should know not to reward unwanted behavior with praise, i.e. petting. But what the fuck do I know.

Fuck you and PUT YOUR VICIOUS LITTLE PURSE DOG ON A LEASH PLEASE.

No love,
J.

P.S. No, prong collars are NOT cruel and in fact are very effective, humane training tools -- when used correctly. For the last friggin time, I know what I'm doing with my dog, so please SHUT IT.