Spread Your Legs and Make a Choice

While viewing my beloved Jon & Kate + 8 I see this commercial for a new show coming a little too close for comfort: The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom. Sigh... now I feel the need to vomit. Seriously, humanity, what is the deal?

For some time now I have been frustrated with the bum rap of which many children are on the receiving end and like many things in our culture and society, this shit is out of hand. I think it's horribly sad that we have reached the point where a woman going to her friends and/or family and sputtering the words "I am pregnant" has to be met with a pause in which to determine if this is good or bad news (let's not include the obvious exceptions to this rule, we live in reality, not up our asses). This should always be good news, but thanks to overpopulation, careless fucking & bed-hopping, children trying to live the lives of adults and countless other reasons why having a baby is a bad reason (but it happens anyway) in our fucked up society, this is also unavoidable. Tragic.

There used to be a time, no, not a perfect time, but a time where life was precious and the renewing of itself was a joyous event. This was also in a time where little options and knowledge were available. However, today we are not without options or power in life and I'm just a tad weary of the attitude that you don't have to stick by your choices and fuck this and fuck that do whatever the fuck you want we'll find a way around it, learn no lessons, don't bother with thinking about the consequences of shit. Mankind adores finding new ways to exist outside of nature, this also includes inventing ways to wriggle out of your choices and/or justify being a flake.

This is where we come to what bothers me about this damn show. In our modern world we know a woman is capable of pretty much anything, and many acknowledge (if they were not already aware of the fact) they can have sex, vote, build a career, collect little gold-digging boys or girls of her own, dance for money or in some places sell her body and make a good living from it... legally, like it or not. Once again, there was a time when it was thought that women could only keep house and pop out babies... an imperfect time that I was pretty sure we were all aware of had come and gone (could be minority sense again). So, exactly where does this show get off and who are these bitches and why are they being encouraged???

When I saw this commercial only one question came to mind and I was then presented with this question when I brought it to the attention of J (the point of it being): If your life plan did not include devoting your time to raising a family, why did you fucking have children? Get knowledge from parents, video games, books, magazines, reality shows, friends, bathroom walls, whatever but by now are we not aware that things exist such as condoms, abortions, adoption, or abstinence even? I mean for goodness sake you can even drop off your baby at a police station, firehouse or church in the middle of the night and walk away if you were so inclined. Let's say you can't do any of these things because... because DUH, all right, congratulations on bringing someone who never asked to exist into your miserable ass world. How about now taking responsibility for your choice and doing what is required of a parent: live for that child and put it's needs before yours and raise it to be the best whatever it can be. Somehow, many humans seem to have lost this animal instinct and how fair is that to the child? "Yes, sweetheart, you're cool and all but I'd much rather be running my very own male brothel on a far-off island."

I never understood the appeal of having a child when you didn't want it... what is that? J wants to know where the show for men who wanted to pursue their dreams has run off to and I just want to know why once again people are being awarded for making poor choices. Hey TLC, instead of mimicking the government and giving special attention to some random woman who popped out a baby (as opposed to maybe awarding those come tax time for not upping our over-populated planet), how about a show where a young person who has sacrificed their own lives to basically raise their younger siblings because their parent(s), so distraught over the fact that they had kids and never wanted them, is off fucking up? How about a show for a person who is not living up to their potential (artistically or academically or what have you) because their family simply can't afford it or they have no family to encourage and support them? And what about a show where the many people who put love and/or family on hold (YES this, too, can be a downside) to earn degrees, perhaps even to ensure a better quality of life for the family they hope to some day build (or even for their own personal enrichment), and to this day are still unemployed or busting their asses through lower-paying jobs to fulfill their responsibilities? Soccer moms are usually on the higher-end of the stay-at-home mom scale, living in the suburbs, driving mini-vans and can actually afford gas money to drive their kids to soccer where they can also afford the uniform and other expenses. You know how many moms ride the bus, need to work and in some cases still go to school? Don't ask me to feel sorry for these bitches.

Enough American Idol & Jerry Springer America. Might we move on to better things and more respectable role models? Can we please do some real good and award those who struggled to make better, sometimes harder choices? Also, can we stop raising children as children would, creating these little monsters that no one likes to be around? It upsets me when I can look at the way a child is behaving or speaking and feel no remorse in thinking (s)he's an asshole. (This rant also brings attention to the fact that maybe having less unwanted children around would make us see their innocence, give us time to really care for those that are around as we should and appreciate them more). And maybe we need to stop falling for the helpless mother routine, not all pregnant women fit this description; sadly, many women are trying to earn another monthly check, force their way into the life of a man who does not want them (good luck with that, ladies), get attention or view their baby as a fun and expensive toy to play with until it seems like work, never stopping to think (as J pointed out:) it is not returnable.

Why should choosing to raise a family be the worst choice a person can possibly make? So much to the point they are pitied and looked down upon? And if you want both, you want two lives, go ahead, work at them both, a person can do anything they put their mind to.

Like a good friend, TLC, I enjoy your company and entertainment but I just plain don't like this new friend you've made. As your friend, TLC, I advise you stick to teaching and encouraging better things not... don't worry about the choices you make, go ahead and insult your family, magically things will happen and you get to be on TV.

Manners & Housekeeping Tips from Planet Fucktard

Okay, call me an asshole, but on what planet... in what world... in what sort of universe does it say that it's perfectly acceptable to not only leave all of your dirty ass dishes overflowing from the sink on to the counters and even the stove for days on end, but also (in the middle of said situation when you are left without dishes and utensils with which to eat/cook) go ahead and use up your roommate's pots, pans, forks, spoons, etc. leaving them with none and creating yet an even larger mess? Someone-- anyone please explain.

Every weekend it's the same thing : the roommates can't be bothered to clean because it's the weekend and DUH. And of course there's always those lovely days (which we all have) during the week when they just don't wanna clean or don't have the energy. Let me break something to you people: no one likes to clean, okay? It's simply something that must be done for many reasons and, while tidying up or keeping the home clean is definitely a job in itself, it still has to be done every day, each time there is a mess. Let me tell you something else : "I like to clean little by little as I go along to avoid cleaning up a much larger mess in the end," does not nor will it ever equal:

-leaving the tub of margarine on the counter for 5 hours, passing it 20 times as you go back and forth from the television / computer to get drinks & snacks and ignoring it as it melts and goes bad.

-letting the trash build up so much that you take out a second bag for the overflow, and then tossing that bag up against the trash can making the kitchen an even bigger and more crowded mess.

-having a collection of empty water bottles, soda cans & wrappers piled up on the coffee table never minding the fact that you could probably grab the old one when you go for the new one.

-leaving splatters of unused toothpaste on the sinks edge and rim to dry and crust despite the fact that the sink is beige and the toothpaste is bright neon blue-green -- I KNOW YOU SEE THAT SHIT, BITCHES.

-or changing the filter for the air conditioner and leaving the old one propped up against the unit's door in the middle of the hallway.

So please stop your bullshit and lies or explain to me the backwardness of your lazy, dirty ass culture.

Lessons in personal hygiene

Dearest Roommate,

If you are going into the bathroom to brush your teeth and use your mouthwash, exactly how fucking hard is it to STAY IN THE BATHROOM for the additional 30-60 seconds of swishing said mouthwash around your mouth, and spitting it out in the BATHROOM sink? Why must you wander halfway across our house to spit in the kitchen sink, which is still full with last night's dishes? "But I rinsed the sink after" is NOT good enough. It doesn't change the fact that you left the bathroom to go spit all over dishes in the fucking kitchen sink. Because the bathroom sink suddenly wasn't good enough for the intermingling of your saliva and Listerine? Fucking disgusting.

Of course, I'm the asshole for questioning why someone would leave a room with a sink to go spit in another sink, especially when the second sink has the DISHES off which we EAT in it.

I really just don't understand.

Half-assed Bullshit

Well, the new year has not started well already, aside from ridiculous amounts of personal bullshit, severe bullshit and financial bullshit there is always always always some petty bullshit going on. But of course it would not be life if humans knew how to act as civil as they claim their world to be.

We're talking once again about my roommates. It's been one year, and in that time nothing has changed. Everything they do has to be half-assed. Apparently they find it impossible to do any one job to completion. They can take their dirty dishes to the kitchen but apparently it's too much to ask that they put them in the sink. They are able to take out a new roll of toilet paper but... alas hanging it up on the holder is still too strenuous a task. They are kind enough to empty the trash, however they pretty much say "fuck you" to replacing the bag. They also seem to have some odd magical power that makes the kitchen sink appear to be over-flowing with dishes and yet it's merely a few poorly stacked cups and plates. It's quite amazing when you think about it.

Each day I pray for strength to deal with this stupid shit or the ability to find a new home or for them to even get a clue about what it is to be a grown adult with a home that is being shared. Fate holds back all these miniature blessings because I guess the real shit just isn't as funny.