One glorious evening not too long ago, I pull up to my desk as my s.o. and the roommates sleep, in hopes of getting work done. The time was nearing 11 p.m. So NATURALLY this is the time for the neighbor to start blasting his stereo! Hooray!
At first I sit there, attempting to listen to some low, soothing music, then I try the television hoping the voices will distract me. Eventually I try silence and strict concentration on my work but nothing works; all I hear is the pounding. By now it is almost 12:30 a.m.
Bubbling with rage, I slam my fist into the wall that divides my deaf neighbor and myself several times. Dipshit responds by pounding back and so I do the same. Yeah, motherfucker you won't out-pound me! This is followed by sounds of his door opening and me seeing a shadow breeze by my window.
I jump out of my seat so ready to take on this dickhead, and as I fly out of my room my s.o. follows. Dickhead knocks on my door and angrily complains to me that I (pause for deep breath)... I HAVE WOKEN HIM UP. Apparently the way to relax and get a good night's rest in the land of Dickheadiashire is to fucking BLAST your stereo and make sure the bass is turned way up. Oh and, hell's bells, there's a language barrier!! Whee!!
He complains that I have woken him up...
"I have to work early in the mornin'! Ya feel me?"
"Do YOU FEEL ME when I tell you that it's past midnight and all I hear is YOUR FUCKING BASS POUNDING THROUGH MY WALL? I don't even hear your music!!"
"You woke me up!"
This is the point where I roll my eyes and realize that I might as well be speaking to the wall as dickhead clearly does not understand what the FUCK I am telling him. My s.o. then simulates the sound we are hearing by pounding their fist on the nearest wall and follows with an explanation. Eventually I ask him if we can be respectful neighbors and if he could just turn down his bass everything would be fine. He seems to agree to this (I hope and pray) and agrees to keep the bass down.
Oh and for the past week starting at promptly ten o'clock every night, yeah, I get to hear bass. God I'm an asshole.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Stupid Pet Owners - "We're too special to obey local ordinances" Edition
Dear residents of my street,
Our town has ordinances in place that require you to leash and to clean up after your dog. That means you, woman with the evil Shih Tzu, can't let your dog crap all over the well-manicured lawn of that doctor's office, even though you earn brownie points for being the only person on this street (other than me) who leashes her dog. That also means the rest of you need to hit up a pet store and invest in a leash, stat. Especially you, man with the dog-aggressive Labradoodle. I don't know who in their right mind would walk even the most well-behaved dog down our busy street without a leash. Your dog, who decided to run into my yard and tried to attack my LEASHED puppy, and who ignored your pathetic recall pleas, is in dire need of said leash. Thank the deity in which I don't believe that my pup was still small enough to pick up. Next time this happens, and I'm assuming it will because you're obviously an irresponsible moron, the police will be called. Oh, and here's a clue: when your vicious dog refuses to listen to you and is trying to attack a small puppy and its owner, THAT would be the time to leave the sidewalk and physically retrieve your dog. Don't fucking stand there yelling for your dog when it's obviously not paying attention to you. God, I love this neighborhood, but I HATE the fucking tools that live here.
No love for any of you,
J.
P.S. If you're going to leash your dog on a Flexi-leash, PLEASE learn how to use it properly. There are stops and locks on those leashes for a reason -- use them.
Our town has ordinances in place that require you to leash and to clean up after your dog. That means you, woman with the evil Shih Tzu, can't let your dog crap all over the well-manicured lawn of that doctor's office, even though you earn brownie points for being the only person on this street (other than me) who leashes her dog. That also means the rest of you need to hit up a pet store and invest in a leash, stat. Especially you, man with the dog-aggressive Labradoodle. I don't know who in their right mind would walk even the most well-behaved dog down our busy street without a leash. Your dog, who decided to run into my yard and tried to attack my LEASHED puppy, and who ignored your pathetic recall pleas, is in dire need of said leash. Thank the deity in which I don't believe that my pup was still small enough to pick up. Next time this happens, and I'm assuming it will because you're obviously an irresponsible moron, the police will be called. Oh, and here's a clue: when your vicious dog refuses to listen to you and is trying to attack a small puppy and its owner, THAT would be the time to leave the sidewalk and physically retrieve your dog. Don't fucking stand there yelling for your dog when it's obviously not paying attention to you. God, I love this neighborhood, but I HATE the fucking tools that live here.
No love for any of you,
J.
P.S. If you're going to leash your dog on a Flexi-leash, PLEASE learn how to use it properly. There are stops and locks on those leashes for a reason -- use them.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Stupid Pet Owners - "I can't believe you have kids let alone pets" Edition
OHMYGOD. Since when is it ever a good idea to tie your 3-month-old puppy out in your yard, unsupervised and without water or shade, on a humid 90+ degree day? On a cheap nylon lead obviously not made for tie-out, no less. On a lead long enough that, not only can the puppy reach the sidewalk (either in danger from or a danger to passersby, human or not), but it can sail off the rocky hill of your property line and hang itself. I'm glad I was there to save your dog from breaking its own neck. And you have kids? Jeez. I wonder if they -- or this dog -- will survive to adulthood. Fucking wow.
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